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My opinions, observations and thoughts permeate this webpage so enjoy or don't read. True story.


I’m awake

It’s a 3 day weekend. So of course I wake up at 7:42 am on my last day of this glorious long weekend completely wired. So far it’s 8:52 and I’ve done online car researched, cleaned out my car, started cinnamon rolls in the oven and I’ve written this. Ok. Apparently I’m productive. Yay me.

Obstacles are things a person sees when he takes his eyes off his goal.

E. Joseph Cossman (via observando)

Marriage. Adding a family. And complications…

So…when you’re born you have no choice over your family. You just get them. They’re yours. You don’t have to like them, but theoretically you have to love them.

Then maybe you get married. Which theoritically if God has a plan you also have no choice over. Then you gain an extra family.

Now my question is do the same rules still apply? Do you not have to like them…but you have to love them?

If so cool beans. I’m in the clear. I don’t like all of my own family so I don’t understand why I should have to like new members to my family by marriage.

However, according to my husband I act like I don’t like them. Which quite honestly, isn’t true except for one person. So I don’t understand where he got this idea from. Or how to fix it. And it’s bothering me. Well it was bothering me until I remembered I don’t like a good portion of my own family and that’s not a problem. So…yeah.

It’s like I’m ok inside with it. But I love my husband and I want to make him happy, but I don’t think I can fake a relationship. Well, I take that back too, I can. However, I’ve never faked a long term relationship nor do I want to. I feel genuine the way I interact with his family. Clearly he, and they want more. I’m not sure I’m willing or wanting to do that. Because if I do that I’ll feel fake. Acting fake towards them just to please him could make me start to resent them (that’s how I imagine it in my head..and possibly him for making me feel some type of way about their reaction to my personality).

So what to do…do me and leave them thinking I don’t care for them even though I treat them like family? Or act fake super nice to make them feel good and possibly start to dislike them for real? hmmmmmmmmmmmm

Do I really have to find a word for it? Can’t it just be what it is?

David Levithan, Boy Meets Boy (via observando)

Dorothy Dandridge photographed by Edward Clark for Life Magazine, c. 1951

(Source: salsmineo)